1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have fence marks all over my body
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
