I cockslap morals
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
