She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
