The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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