i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize