She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
