Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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