would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
