"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
