I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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