Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
