Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
