We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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