just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
