Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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