My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
