he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
