I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
