if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
