Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize