i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
