He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
