i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
