This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
