When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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