And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize