so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize