Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Life is so much better after having sex.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
