All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
