I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
