Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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