So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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