We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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