when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize