You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
