Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
