I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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