i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
