woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
