so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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