I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
