I love black thongs
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
