Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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