I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
