Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
