How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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