The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
