So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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