you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
