I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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