just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
