Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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