YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
