small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
