If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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