i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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