that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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