You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
